I can’t say Dubai was high on my list of “must see destinations,” but after going through all the flight options for my trip to the Maldives, I was destined to spend at least 10 hours in the Dubai Airport. If I’m already there, I may as well check it out, right? I extended my layover for a few days and set out to see what Vegas of the Middle East was really like. I’m not sure if it is called that, perhaps that term is even derogatory or demeaning, after all many of the sins of Vegas are illegal in Dubai, but the parallels of bizarre cities rising out of desert, is too obvious to ignore.
I landed in the “Dubai International Airport” (air quotes explained soon) at 3am, but the energy and excitement in the airport made it feel like 8:30 on a Friday night. Similar to patrons in the Vegas airport who frantically throw their last few dollars in the airport slots, Dubai passengers hit the airport shopping mall hysterically trying to add to their already overstuffed shopping bags. I’m still convinced that the “Dubai International Airport” was originally built as a shopping mall, and eventually an international airport was built around it. Lets just say my first impression of Dubai was a little overwhelmed and impressed for all the wrong reasons.
But determined not to judge Dubai by its unusual airport cover, I headed to the taxi queue with my “limp dick surf board bag” in tow. I was quickly and efficiently paired up with a suitable size cab and sent on my way to downtown Dubai. With each passing kilometer, I grew more and more impressed. I am a sucker for modern architecture, and Dubai is the current oasis for architects and engineers pushing the boundaries of current construction limitations. It seems that with each new construction project- and there are still dozens going up- new boundaries are being bent and broken. I don’t know the vacancy rates in these buildings, but it certainly isn’t stopping them from building.
I stayed at the Qamardeen hotel, which according to my cab driver was in the middle of nowhere only six years ago. As we pulled in to the hotel, in the shadow of the monumentally tall Burj Khalifa, and surrounded by well established infrastructure and development, it was hard to believe. But as I looked around and saw dozens and dozens of construction site underway, literally working full tilt at 4am, it began to feel a little more plausible.
The next morning I woke up and did what every good Dubai tourist does… Headed to the mall. During the day Dubai gets quite warm and most visitors head to the malls to escape the heat. The malls also play host to the unusual attractions within their enormous walls. Forgive my ignorance about Middle Eastern culture, but I found it quite humorous that woman covered head to toe in black Burkas, were shopping as feverishly as everyone else. Are they permitted to wear designer clothes around the house? Under their Burkas? Or is it simply a form of rebellion in a constrictive culture?
I walked around the enormous mall desperately attempted to remain a spectator and not a consumer. Just as the magnetic pull of various stores nearly sucked me in, I found salvation when I spotted the aqua lights of the aquarium just around the corner. If everything is bigger in Texas, than I have no idea what it makes it in Dubai, Gigantic? The aquarium features the largest single pain of glass in the world.
Having recently run against weight and size restrictions for glass in the construction of my own house, seeing a single, continuous piece, hold back an aquarium filled with beautiful marine life and aquatic blue water, was mind numbingly impressive. I likely spent more time examining the construction of the glass and inspecting the seeming than the building inspectors. As I walked through the aquarium archway, I was appreciative that after 12 days playing in the ocean, my closest encounter with a great white shark was in a shopping mall and not on my surf board. One of my greatest fears is sharks. Thank you Spielberg.
Feeling malled out, I ventured outside to grab some sunset photos. People were raving about the Dubai Mall fountain show. I have never been particularly impressed by spurting water so when the show began, I was passively watching. By the end of the night I had stayed and watched six shows and would come back for several more over the next few nights. Each show was choreographed to a different song and was mesmerizing in unique ways. It didn’t hurt that the outside temperature was a perfect 73 degrees. I had my Kindle in hand and enjoyed lounging in the awe inspiring courtyard, that had literally risen out of sand in less than a decade. The entire experience felt like a mirage.
Looking up at the Burj Khalifa is one of those experiences that you really need to experience for yourself. I am embarrassed to write the previous sentance because I hate the arrogance of “you have to be there to understand.” But truly if graphs, photos and videos can’t do this structure the justice it deserves, my writing certainly won’t be able to.
Human beings’ necks have not evolved far enough to be able to take in the tip of this building. Similar to watching tourists at the Leaning Tower of Pisa, watching spectators taking in the Burj Khalifa is nearly as entertaining as the building itself. A combination of back bends and yoga bridge poses provide the needed angle to take in the entire building. I witnessed more than a few sober people fall over backwards trying to look up at the building.
The next evening, with a sore neck, I ventured off to take in the Burj al Arab, one of the most luxurious hotels in the world. Unable to afford the equivalently luxurious price tag, I was determined to capture the unusual structure (conceived to mimic a sail in the wind). The sky didn’t seem to care about my aspirations, as a dull overcast gray filled the horizon. My initial angle was also less than exciting. Determined to find something worth photographing, I continued walking down the beach until I came upon a private resort. When they turned down my request to gain access, I snuck in. I dodged security guards and hotel staff until I reached the private beach. The ugly gray had faded to darkness and the exterior lighting of the Burj brought to life a building that only minutes before looked average. 
Having absorbed enough amazing architecture, I was in a desperate mood for exercise. Time for Ski Dubai. Not often will I have the opportunity or inclination to ski indoors, with both present, I headed to another shopping mall. I suited up in the hilarious onesie. When I asked the employee if i could buy the Onzie as a souvenir, I don’t believe he understood my sarcasim.
Having played hockey my whole life, the instant I entered Ski Dubai, I felt at home. Hockey rinks, and apparently the indoor ski industry, use similar cooling systems resulting an identical smell and texture in the air.
I clicked into my skis and headed to the chair lift. I couldn’t stop laughing. The absurdity of Ski Dubai never faded during the five or six runs I took down the slope. Fake trees, a terrain park, warming huts and snow in the middle of the desert! I have to admit, my expectations were low, but it was pretty fun. The snow was better than Tahoe this year.
On my final day I was determined to see some sand dunes. I signed up for a sand safari and off roading tour. I was picked up from my hotel and shuttled 45 minutes outside of the city. For the first time in Dubai, I was attacked by locals trying to sell useless trinkets and souvenirs. Our driver relieved the pressure in the SUVs tires and we headed out for “Dune Bashing.” I would have preferred to be the driver, but bombing around in sand dunes, nearly flipping the truck every corner, was actually quite fun. As the sun set over the dunes, we traded our SUVs for a quick camel ride. We were fed and entertained by belly dancers and by some dude that literally spun in a circle for 15 minutes straight. How he didn’t projectile vomit over all the guests was by far the most impressive feat of the evening. If I could have a redo of Dubai, I would have abandoned the whole tour thing and just rented a dune buggy- all the fun, none of the filler.
Tomorrow I fly to San Francisco where I will have 26 hours of sedentary life before getting back on a plane for New Zealand. Just enough time to exchange my pathetic surf board bag and bathing suit for my bike and North Face winter kit. But before my next adventure, I must reflect on Dubai. With very little expectations, I was quite pleasantly surprised. Solid food, beautiful architecture, perfect night time temperatures and friendly people all made for a really pleasant stay. I would highly recommend a stopover if you are traveling through. Oh and the breakfast at the Qamardeen is the bomb. Best carrot juice I have ever had.
